went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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