holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
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Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
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After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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