Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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