he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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