Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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