At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
