Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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