yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Who died my cat blue again?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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