The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
