Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
