Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
