someone get that fucking seahorse.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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