I am puke
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
