oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
