last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
