I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
