yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Randomize
