the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
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