I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
