Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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