I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize