I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize