Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
