I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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