Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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