Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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