just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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