i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
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