CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
