Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
