he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
