Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
