but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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