can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
