I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
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there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
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I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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