Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
