apparently the secret to your success is patron
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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