Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
