Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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