Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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