So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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