ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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