He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize