Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
