i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
