Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
