Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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