a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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