i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
