on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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