How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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