So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
