she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
