he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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