Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
