I'm going to rape someone's good day.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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