my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
